I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
