they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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