That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
