Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
