i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
