The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
