We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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