You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
