:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
