But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
