I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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