well you can't waste a boner
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
