Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
