what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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