He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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