I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
