wakey wakey hands off snakey
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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