This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
