break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
