I just saw a hot homeless man
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
