Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
