Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
