i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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