Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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