Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize