sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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