I will die if light touches me.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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