Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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