I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
