i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
