Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
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Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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