Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
