Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
they're like a gay fantastic four
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
