Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
