Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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