I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize