Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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