So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
