it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Farmville is her only friend.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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