I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just pee around me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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