new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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