so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
