oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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