If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
