I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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