If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
