Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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