so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
