I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
