is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
