Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
