things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
