Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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