i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
