I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
