i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
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