before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
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I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
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She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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