Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
