Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
