Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
