i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
barbara walters just said penis...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
