Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
