East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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