so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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